colder weather.

he thinks of colorado, and the girl he left behind.
he said i wanna see you again
but i'm stuck in colder weather
maybe tomorrow will be better
can i call you then?




music seems to be the only way of expressing myself lately. and that's fine.



if he wanted to, he'd call. if he wanted to, he'd come to stillwater. if he wanted to, he'd make the effort. if he wanted to, he'd try everything he could to get me back. if he wanted to, he'd be here. if he wanted to, he would.
but he's not. so i'll just blog. and rant to you.

no one.

for i felt what i had not felt before.

moveonmoveonmoveonmoveonmoveon.



Well, maybe it's just me and my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
But all you are is mean
All you are is mean and a liar and pathetic and alone in life.
Come on, come on, don't leave me like this
I thought I had you figured out
Something's gone terribly wrong
You're all I wanted
He would try to take away my pain
And he just might make me smile
But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead
You told me you loved me so why did you go away, go away
But now I'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss
Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips
And I hope the sun shines and it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed
We can plan for a change in weather and time
I never planned on you changing your mind
I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us
How we met and the sparks flew instantly
People would say they're the lucky ones
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now
But you held your pride like you should have held me
I'd tell you I miss you, but I don't know how
I've never heard silence quite this loud
Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
You don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore


People are people and sometimes they change their minds, but it's killing me to see you go after all this time.
You're not sorry.

that's a mix of a lot of taylor swifts songs. i just picked out the parts that really hit me. so, if you read it all it's awesome i think.
in a nut shell. that's how i feel. thank you taylor swift for writing music and it come straight from my heart to your songs. i'll get there someday. when i do, it'll be great. just one day and one step at a time.


goodbye to you and all your crap. i don't need it. or you.

movies

you know that part in movies where everything turns to complete crap, or people go through a break up, or you go through a series of bad events & a music montage comes on and it goes by way quicker than it does in real life?


well i need a music montage right now. because this seriously has been the worst roller coaster ride of my life.

i go from an awesome day, to a night where i won't sleep and start a day that feels as if everything goes wrong and everything i touch breaks in half. i'm just not sure what god has in store for me at this point. i feel so lost and so out of it. like i have a new roommate, a new place to live & i love that. but i guess the problem is the unknown. i'm like my dad that way i guess. he hates not knowing what's happening. i need to pray for faith i guess.