Monday, 30 May 2011

i've become quite the night owl.

i guess it comes with my favorite season. and that is okay with me.

i'll be up for awhile.

Monday, 23 May 2011


so, i've been watching a bunch of youtube the past like month because i'm REALLY unable to sleep lately.
and i really enjoy watching people tell me about their lives. it's cool and awesome to find someone to relate to.
and also, it's cool to see what people are buying or where they shop, or stuff like that. i'm really into hair and clothes
well......when i'm in the mood for it. like i love putting my hair up or braiding it or something like that. and i also love
buying clothes and online shopping. which could be bad.....but for now it's good. especially since i'm making my own
money. but usually i don't work a lot so it all goes to my gas. it really sucks. if i could buy a gas efficient car that would be great
but i don't see that happening ANY time soon. but soon i won't be driving very hopefully i'll have more money to shop.

this past week i graduated! it was the most surreal thing ever. like all week i just wanted it to be friday for the weekend. but then i put on my heels and my dress and then my cap and gown. and then i got there and there was so many people and cameras and WOW. i was so happy. my whole family was there & i just loved it. AND I DIDN'T TRIP. after graduation was grad bash. and my parents were there so it was fun. we had blow up stuff & a photo booth, which i'm sure my mom will put the pictures up of, and they also had a hypnotist which was freaking cool.

so tyler painted my nails the other day. and i'm loving the color. they are a pinkish purple. like imagine barney, but cute.
we also went shopping today and i got some new clothes and a coach bag thingy. i can put my keys, wallet, and cards, license, etc allll in it. I LOVE IT. and plus when MY mom gets jealous of a purse thingy i get i know it's good. she's obsessed. which is perfectly okay. (i am too)!

so i've come up with a college check list i'm going to use my grad money for & i thought you'd like to see. i'm living in a traditional dorm so i share a bathroom with the whole floor & a room with my bestfriend. so it'll be fun, i think.

shower caddy
new hair dryer....mine sucks.
picture frames & TONS OF THEM.
my sweet and amazing nanny got me the cutest towel that is velcro and a little hair thing i can hold my hair up!
we got pretty much all of our appliances. (fridge, microwave, coffee, tv)
new sheets (preferably cotton)
i need to go through allll my clothes & shoes, because i seriously have too much.
storage bins
bathroom stuff, like new bobby pins, rubber bands, body wash, perfume, and anything that me and my mom share that we are going to have to part with.
that's pretty much all i can think of right now, but i'm sure there's more! if you think of ANYTHING i might need or i'm forgetting or suggestions PLEASE let me know!

Sunday, 15 May 2011

young and beautiful

so i was thinking today...well i guess the past week.

and i was really down on myself.

like REALLY down on myself.
i've been really lazy, and really just non-

and i really hate that. i really hate not being who i really am, and not trying at all.

the school year is almost out....and i'm a senior so of course i'm going to be lazy, but seriously this is out of control. i don't even get out of bed early enough to freaking wear anything except a tshirt and'll be lucky enough to see me without my hair up and my motivation to do anything except sleep after school is very rare. i seriously am not happy with myself.

i need that extra kick in the butt.

i've felt i wasn't good enough, i wasn't pretty enough, i wasn't 'cool' enough, i wasn't anything.
but i am. i'm beautiful, i'm strong, i'm good enough, i'm worth it. i have everything that god has given me.

i think the reason i've been doing this is the past month i've been called to do some senior stuff. which calls for dressing nice, doing your hair, wearing the right shoes, getting the right outfit and i just feel out of place because i'm not that kind of girl. i wear whatever is on the floor and smells good and i don't give a flying crap what everyone else thinks. and that's fine and everything, but it's also okay to look pretty and look fun and even though you don't want to get out of bed, you feel better when you look better. at least in personal experience, when i wake up and get ready, and i feel good about myself, my day goes better. rather than when i wake up late, and get that extra thirty minutes and throw on that tshirt that came off the floor that i might have worn yesterday (who really knows.) and i think that's what really counts. it's okay to lose that little extra time, just to make your day better.

i also feel better when i eat better. eating the right food isn't hard for me. i'm not sure why....but i hate sweets. i love sugar just like any other person. but i don't go home and eat ice cream or cake or chips and stuff. i'd rather have an apple or some strawberries and stuff. i'm not sure why, BUT THANK YOU GOD FOR THIS.

i also felt better in the summer after i biked. my teacher usually takes us all biking and i was going usually every other weekend. so i was pretty in shape. it was great. i got out so many emotions and after that bike ride i felt empowered. i just miss that feeling i guess. so this week....well really this past 3 hours that i haven't been able to sleep i've decided i'm going to do just that.

i'm going to get up, i'm going to do my best, i'm going to eat my best, and i'm going to be active. i feel this is beauty. i feel being the best i can be is beautiful. and i thank god i had this time to think.....even though this is going to be really hard to get up in about 5 or so hours and conquer what i've just typed....i am going to do it.

i hope someone else out there is feeling the same way and i hope you can go with me through this time!

thanks for reading.

Sunday, 8 May 2011


miss you, hance.


Wednesday, 4 May 2011


it seems as though every time i blog, i grow up 10 more years.
it's becoming quite ridiculous.


so this month of may has turned from hurry up school, i wanna graduate, to holy crap slow down i'm scared.

i got some things from my papa about a week ago. it was nice but, it was so surreal to open a box and smell his shirt and know it was real and that i couldn't pick up the phone and call him and tell him thank you. i couldn't call or send him a thank you card.

i've been trying to keep my room clean in practice for moving out. but shoot. it ain't working. my roommate halie, will probably hate me come august, but she's stuck with me :)

i graduate in 16 days. it's kind of freaking me out. especially moving out. like sleeping in mom and dad's bed when i'm sick doesn't happen anymore, and having your laundry done, and having your mom there when you have a bad day.

this will be an eye opener. but i'm super stoked. especially buying dorm stuff :)

tyler signed with a college to play soccer. i'm kind of scared. but we'll be okay! he'll do great and i'll do great, we'll just be apart being great. i suppose.

we made quilts in one of my classes and i'm excited to see what it turns out like. hopefully good.

i'm ready for college. but i'm scared to grow up. does that make sense?

I can't wait to prove all the cheerleaders, popular crowd, and hater clubs that there's more than just high school. this homecoming queen is going to be someone some day, and i can't wait to show you. bring it!