MILEY!

thank you jesus for miley! she's my penpal & a great listener!

go check her out: http://miley-allthingspink.blogspot.com/

she's awesome.



i'm too tired to write anything. good night kids.

fanny pack

TODAY.
i woke up. i went downstairs. did laundry. ate cereal. prayed. left. swam. YAY.
i went to aj's to swim. for like 3 hours. i'm kind of burnt. oh well. then we went
to dinner. it was nice. i love her.

tomorrow:
CPR in the AM. which will probably not be any fun at all.
all we have to do is test. which means one dummy. and about 12 rescue breaths, and 45 reps to the chest. sweet.
then lunch date with angelea.
THEN MY BOYFRIEND COMES HOME!
i'm so excited. it's been 8 days. which seems like 3 years.
PLUS, we get rylee. which means an extra good day. i'm excited.

anyway. jesus is so good. i can't wait for the things to come.
i think senior year is going to be great.


blah, blah, blah.

so today was a good day.
i went and saw despicable me. it was great. i thought it was going to be stupid. but it was actually really good.

i came home and pretty much rested.
and i started to feel bad. i haven't done anything around the house it feels like. but then i feel like our house has been clean. literally. if someone came over spur of the minute, it would be totally cool. my rooms clean and the living room is clean. i don't know. maybe that's me. i've done laundry once this week. which is way off from my normal 'quota'. but i hope my parents know that i don't mind doing chores. not that i'm asking to. but that i won't complain when asked to do them. i don't know why i feel bad. hm.

i have a wedding to attend tomorrow. it's outside. it's hot outside. yeah.


i'm not sure what else to say. so goodbye, bloggers.

bring on the rain.

so on the past shopping trip with my mommy i got four new dresses.
it was quite lovely. all under 20$ except one! good deal!

so, today started out very lazy. i stayed in bed. then got some laundry done
and then took another shower then back to bed, it was awesome.

then i went over to tyler's house to check on his kitties and do some stuff
around the house. it was fun. i suppose haha. it was weird being in their house without them in it.
BUT then it started pouring down rain and lightning and thunder. and in a house alone...
that's creepy. so i left haha.
his kitties were excited to see me, or maybe just excited to see a person after a few days.


so i've been thinking lately. (and yes mom, i know you'll be reading this so it'll be the first time you see it or hear me talking about it. let me know what you think!)
is it too much for my age to have the boyfriend's family and the girlfriends family like have dinner or do things together? or is that weird?


so jesus is awesome. and it's making me love my life so much, he's touching friends lives and it's been a great experience witnessing it. i love when jesus does things for people. and i get to be apart of it.

so it's storming really bad. i think maybe i should get off the computer so i don't get struck by lightning.

goodbye everyone.


ps. prayer request: i've been praying about senior year. i'm kind of scared for it. thanks guys,

+

i loved today.

i spent it with my mommy. we went to lunch and shopped. which was very successful.



thanks mommy.



5days.

so.

i don't really have that much to say today. i pretty much spilled my guts the last two.


i applied for a job today. and i also got my rylee today. i love her.

tyler should almost be to florida by now. without me. i don't think he ever reads my blog, oh well. hmph.

i want a bowl of cereal. i think being a food critic would be fun.


so today i was supposed to meet up with a girlfriend for lunch. but she pulled a muscle during twirling practice so i couldn't see her. and it made me sad. i was looking forward to some girl time while my man is gone.

the bike ride was postponed until tomorrow. so i get to bike in the humid heat. joy. 40 long miles.
i'm secretly excited.




i'm so boring. goodbye.

what in the world.

i think i have too much on my mind. and yes, i realize i'm a teenager so these kinds of things happen. but honestly, my brain hurts from so much thinking and not so much writing. maybe i should do this everyday... i'll give it some thought. anyway.


i think sometimes i try and take on things way beyond my maturity level & that probably adds to the stress of my life. i also know that relationships are a huge part of this time in my life. highschool, highschool, highschool. curse you. i think that boys are a rare species only here to confuse and irritate the female species but at the same time, also make us fall madly and deeply in love with their flaws, highs and lows, and even that shirt that you absolutely hate that he wears you love it, because he wears it. have you ever said something that you meant something different? like, "i'm fine, just don't talk to me right now."? just because you want them to be say something so radical it takes your heart and makes it float all the way to your brain? going out places with this person makes you feel like a million bucks. writing each other letters, that's the best. i love writing. i know girls aren't perfect. i mean no one is. but anyway. boys handle our changing of decisions, cravings of food, wanting to go somewhere then changing your mind and just want to stay at home and watch a movie, controlling the radio in the car. i feel bad sometimes, but then i think about being treated like his princess. shouldn't all girls be treated that way? i know i am. thank you daddy. i want a boy to take my hand and somehow i feel as though i'm floating on a cloud. i want to watch a movie and think, thank god for my man. i want him to know me better than i know myself. i want a guy like my daddy, who knows how to fix everything. who cooks meals to where i don't even want to go out to eat anymore. who can make the tears go away. who know my hearts desires. loves my messy room. can take me at my worst. my prince charming.








i know that this is probably not what i normally write about, or what should even be coming out of my mouth. considering i have tyler. but hey. no ones perfect. & trust me- of all people me and tyler aren't perfect.

i miss all the old days. like when i'd look at him and blush. when we were awkward and never knew if it was okay to hug or not. or knew what each other was thinking. i miss when we didn't even know each other's favorite color.

when we started getting to know each other, we got involved in both families. we started getting into deeper conversation. and we knew what each other was thinking. we always did the same thing. every single day. it became a routine. it became less fun to see him and more fun to be alone. and i always had this feeling the pit of my stomach thinking, "well if i don't hang out with him, he'll leave me." i never wanted to disapoint. being the people pleaser that i am, i always hung out with him. i became more and more bored of our time together. i could tell you what we were doing every single day after school. it was stupid. i hated it. my life was so predictable. i'm tired of it. and yes, i post alllll the time how much i like him and how he's amazing. but it's on rare occasion that i feel this. shouldn't it be all the time? i don't know what to do. i've prayed and prayed. and i've talked to tyler about this. but you know, you can't pick night time to talk about this stuff. because talk is so cheap at night. has anyone else realized that? because you wake up the next day and you're like did i really say that? did i really mean it?

i want someone to make a promise to me that they will actually keep. i want someone to make me feel like a princess, everyday. i don't want to give up. i feel like i'm chasing something i'll never catch. the prize i'll never get. i want to make this work. i want to fix this, but i'm tired of being the only one pulling the weight. i don't know what else to say or do. i can't keep begging for things to change. i can't keep holding on to something that won't pull through. i can't keep getting my hopes up. i'm so emotionally tired it's starting to take it's toll. i can't even read books without starting to think about this. normally when i read i'm so into the book i don't even know what's going on outside of it. it's ridiculous. i need advice. i need a hug. i want to make things right.

but i can't let go.

goodness sakes.

my poor penpal miley probably thinks i fell off the face of the earth.
i've been a busy one.


i got home on tuesday from branson with my bestfriend! we went to silver dollar city & white water. it was a blast. i got two awesome bruises to prove it. our room looked like 5 people lived in it. clothes everywhere, cords in the wall, etc. it was fun.

i got back to a happy family & impatient boyfriend! it was a great trip, and now we're even closer than when we left!

i got my rylee on thursday, and bout 3 hours ago she left! it was a great three days with my baby girl. she'll be back monday :)

my boyfriend leaves tomorrow for a trip i REALLY wish i was going on. he's going to my favorite place on earth, which i probably won't go to anymore now that my papa is gone. i will miss those summers with him. i know i already do. anyway. he's going to disney. i'm so jealous. i'm gonna miss him.

on monday i plan to bike, bike, bike with ingham. my history teacher who loves his life so much he shares it with us on bikes. i can't wait. this will be my third or fourth time. but first without my biking partner. tyler always goes with me, but i think i can do it alone!

man this has been a post about tyler. sorry guys, didn't mean to get all gushy on you.

have you ever tried a sour patch kid twisted together with a swedish fish? TRY IT.

so i'm watching my favorite show. law and order: special victims unit. BEST. SHOW. EVER. you should watch it sometime.

i lost my rings. including the one tyler got me. and i'm sick about it. when i went to silver dollar city i got two new rings, but they just aren't the same. one ring was a true love waits, which is the one ty got. and the other was my brother's baptism ring. i really want them back. i left them in rylee's beach bag and only jesus knows where they are now.

i wonder who made up the name 'love handles'. who would honestly think of that? i really don't know. i learned i can't hang a picture straight to save my life. i've had a picture on the wall for about a week and it's been lop sided, i don't feel like fixing it, because it's my art work. i should be able to hang it however i want. right?

i got my automatic start on my car. i just click the lock button three times & it starts! I LOVE IT. especially in this heat. i cleaned my car today, then i realized i have a free car wash. i was upset. i'll use it tomorrow since it's supposed to rain later. atleast i think it is.

i want to build a sand castle. i also want the juno soundtrack. maybe i should just make a want list when i get a job for my first paycheck. which i'm sure will go all to my parents anyway. but still. a girl can dream. i plan to work at quik trip. yay.

don't you love it when someone invites you somewhere, and your phone never gets the call or text until it's too late. well that just happened. and i'm kind of upset.

i think that's all i'll say. have a good week.